This blog

I come back.  It's to see my best friend. When I have nothing.  He is there.  Now for him.  Nothing.  So I will be there.  He has some tests.  It's many changes.  It's good.  I can see.  He is broken.  Too long like this.  I know it.  It's like me.  At the MP.  To escape.   Drugs and drinking.  He will do it too.  Just drink. 

Do you wonder.  When I write this?.   

I walk.  I will go see my apartment.  The bad one.  The good one too.  My car is gone.  I just leave it.  I guess they steal it.  I stand in the old apartment.  It's the good place.  I can see Larissa.  She looks back at me.  It's the glass in the door.  But I see a different Larissa.  I walk away.  I don't need to see it again.   It's 17th Ave.  Do you know it?  It's popular.  I walk by.  I can see it. Beckhams Pub.  Tim Hortons.  I remember. Long ago it's Bad Ass Coffee.  It's got a donkey. I see Watchmans pub.  I know this.  I walk farther.  It's Melrose Place.  Me and Victoria goes there.  I go in.  Not so many people.  I look around.  What can I see?  100 Victorias.  100 Unhappily Marrieds.  Some is different.  Most is the same. It's not so long.  Its' Fiore.  It's for pasta.  I walk more.  The Ship and Anchor.  Marky and I go there.  We eat Christmas dinner.  It's our last night together there.  I can see the seat.  It's there.  I walk.  Fourth Street.  I stop.  It's Lululemon.  I will go inside.  Some are out front.  They draw on the sidewalk.  I will keep walking.  Memories of all my life.  It's Ouzo.  Mark takes me there.  It's Greek.  It's like me.  We will eat.  Drink wine.  I keep walking.  It's the diner. Chinese owns it.  Cash only.  Next to it.  The liquor store.  We go there a lot.  I can see Ducky's.  It's got bars on it.  On the window lol.  It's maybe a prison.  For some.  Escape.  I remember.  Mark sings Abba lol.  The sky is blue.  The air now is cool.  I walk by.  It's Original Joes.  I wonder.  Does the tattoo girl work still?  I walk farther. The Purple Perk.  I love it.  A coffee.  A Cuban sandwich.  With chips.  Next  it's Joyce.  We go here.  Eat cheap ribs.  A penny each.  I walk farther.  Shoppers drug store.  A store a girl loves.  I will go in.  I remember.  Make up.  I go further.  It's Urban Barn.  I go in.  I buy stuff.  I remember it.  Marky and I go there.  We would dream.  We can get this bed.  30 browns for it.  Next is the jean store.  I walk.  I can see Safeway.  Georgia works there before.  It's shitty.  Pay sucks.  I walk by the river.  The river is quiet.  No ducks.  They are big now.  All grown up.  Maybe like me?  I walk farther.  The street is a circle end.  I look around.  It's the building.  It's where I lived.  It's a nice place.  I cross the road.  I go behind the other building.  It's the little round house.  Near the river.  I will go sit there.  We used to sit there.  We would talk.  The ducks would swim.  The people on the raft.  Floats by.  They hold the beer up.  Happy with life.   Just fun in the sun.  No ducks.  No rafts.  Just the water.  I look out. 

I remember.  Mark tells me.  Go to Greece.  I cry.  I will lose him.  He tells me no.  I don't lose him.  Instead I find me.  He said.  Sometimes you must go.  The hard decision.  It's the best decision.  Before I think Mark is wrong.  He is stupid.  Or maybe he don't love me.  Just wants a new girl.  Move along Larissa.  Tired of you.  Now.  I realize it.  He was right.  I sit there.  I think to me.  He tells me.  You will write.  Speak up.    I put on my iPod.  I walk away.  Back the same way.  I stop.  It's the Purple Perk.  I get a Cuban.  Same girl.  She's pretty.  I get a coffee.  I sit and I eat.  I read the magazine.  I can't see the words.  I can just think about my life.  I will go home.  I will write this story.   It's my story.  Not your story.  My story.