Papa emails me. It's the best news. He tells Mom. He will divorce. He is tired of her. Tired of these games. He will sell the house. He will give her some. He wishes she is just gone. He will ask. A job transfer to another city. So Mom is not near. I ask was she mad. She screams. And breaks things. Then she begs him. He sais no way. It's done. He tells me. Life is not good. He sees me go. Take the risk. He can do it too. He will get a apartment. It's small. They will sell the house. He will give Mom money to go. A lawyer does this.
I tell him. I am happy for him. It's good. I tell him. Come to Greece lol. I wish thought I could go. Move back to Canada. Marky, me and Papa can share a house. Both have jobs. I will cook and clean. I will take school. Get a job. I wish I can. Papa sais time will pass first. It will take a while. He said it's not done in a week. He said it will be ugly. Mom will turn on him.
You won't like these comments. But its' my thoughts. I wish Mom is a whore. She is old. She can't strip. Body is saggy. But she can suck cock. Her price is 3 greens. I think ha ha ha. She will suck cocks. It's her only job. Or maybe the MP. Factory fucking. It's Larissa's Mom. She's a brown for FS. She will give a red to the owner. She must have 10 clients each day. I wish on her the stinky ones. Like that man that farts. Or she can strap it on. Fuck a man. His shit is all over her. All she can smell is it. It's what a whore goes through. My mom needs it. I wish it. Why? For years I suffer like this. I have no choice. My mom's fists. Or being a whore. The whore is better. I remember I am 15. Papa is away. It's for a training thing. She brings home a man. She is drunk. She passes out. He is awake. Tells me I'm pretty. More pretty than mom. He wishes to touch me. I scream and hit him. My Mom don't care. She tells me. I make it up. He don't touch me though. So now I wish. My mom is a whore. Ha ha ha bitch. If I see it. I watch it. I would laugh. I hate her. Papa works his life. Each day he goes to work. So there is a house. So the bills are paid. She don't appreciate it. This woman I spit on. Worse is she goes out. Sex with other men. I bet you. She don't protect herself. Her and Papa have 2 beds. I wish Papa can find a new girlfriend. A woman that cooks him a steak. Or even a whore that is good to him. It's better than Mom. I think. What can she do. She can be a whore. Or a factory job. I laugh. In the summer it's hot. She will work in this. She deserves nothing more.
I learn. I hate my mom. My therapy lady sais it's extreme. I hate her. Because if my life is ok, I don't become a whore. I am Larissa with butterflys in her hair. If I don't hate my mom. I can have high school. I can have a graduashun. I can go to college. Get a job later. Have a boring life. Like I dream about. But no. I have 11 years. 11 years of angry. 11 years or hurt. 11 years of lonely. All I get was money. And now I have none. I can't get this time back. I will die and I can't remember this time. I laugh. I tell Papa big smiles. Good for him. She will be drunk more. She can be a whore. Car dates. She will suck his cock. It's a stinking cock. so much pubes too. She can smell sweat. And the shit. She can do this each fucking day forever. If you read this Mom. I never hate no one. But I hate you. You aren't my Mom. You colour your hair blonde. Afraid of Greek past. I laugh now.
I wish to call her. I wish to say ha ha Mom. You see my boyfriend? He loves me. He kisses me. He cries to say goodbye. You see my job? I work now. I get up. You can't do this. I can. You laugh at me all my life. While now I laugh at you. When I am 46, I'm not a drunk whore. I'm a big time person. People respect me. If Papa is hungry. I feed him. If Mom is hungry. I tell her eat grass. She can't get no man. Her face is creased. Her skin is thick. Good on her. It's payback for me. I should feel bad. But I doubt. I just feel good inside.
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