The clock in my head is going tick tock. I wake up. I feel tired. I drink again last night. I must work today but I just want someone. I need to be hold. I feel so empty. It eats me inside. I see Papa's picture. Now I realize it's months to see him. Maybe a year. He works with his hands. He cannot take a day off all the time. I am a lonely person and I must find something. I want a kiss. I want a hug. I want love. I can't get it but I can get some. I do something a whore must never do. I contact my client. It's Unhappily Married. I send a message on the phone. Call. In a bit he calls me. I tell him I am alone. I need someone to come here. He sais he can.
I don't love this man. But I am a whore. I have no boyfriend. I dont' have a good girlfriend to cry too. It's me. If you are like this you find what you can. It's like if you are in the jungle. You have no food. Well then a bug looks good. You will eat that bug.
Unhappy comes over. I am upset. I tell him I need to feel. I tell him its no donation this time. And this time I take him to my bedroom. No man goes in there. It's not a whore room. I tell him I want to feel like a woman that is loved. Like a wife. I want to make love. He can do it. I know it. This guy is not so bad you know. Maybe he is a pooner but so what. I know more and more he gets a raw deal at home. He is a tender person to me. I can't love him. Who can? He has a wife. He won't leave. It's too expensive. And if he goes, so what. It's years of fighting. For now, I don't care. I want to feel. After it's over I want to cuddle. I don't do this usually.
Maybe you think a pooner is bad. If you dont know pooner, its a word like John. It's a guy that buys sex. Not all are bad you know. In this world, we think it. A man that pays for sex is dirty. He is a cheater. But there are many reasons. For some its a thrill. For some it's a fuck. For some they try to fill emptiness. A pooner can fall in love. But it's not the good way. It's because he is empty inside. I know something. You hear women complain. They say men don't have love or romance. It's wrong. I know it. I have had thousands of men. Some want love. Just this world is cold. It's hard to find. I think about Victoria. How does a man feel with her? It's just for her. She will see someday. You cannot change these people. If you tell them they don't listen.
Unhappy stays for a while. It's nice. I feel a bit better. He sais we can go eat. I think ok. At least I forget for a bit and it beats a drink. We go out and eat. It's a nice chat. He's a good guy. It's like he's a friend. I can't feel a spark but then can I ever?
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