I wake up. I am hungover. I love Nana. I love Papa. But I don't like my Mom. Mark tells me. She watches him. The door has a crack. I think. You are a cougar? Inside I am angry. My Papa lives this. Each day. You think she cares for him? It's the first ever. I wish Papa gets a whore. A whore is better than this bitch. At least a whore is good to a man. My Mom don't care. If Papa is gone? My Mom is a whore too. Lives in the ditch. She can charge 2 greens for FS. I come back. I come to make friends. Now, I can't. I am angry. This time though. Larissa is not 13. No one can push her around.
It's a BBQ. Nana is in the hotel. Papa makes a steak. Mom drinks booze. She is drunk. She tells Papa what to do. She can cook? No way buddy. I sit. I listen. She drinks. She tells me about my life. I am a failing. I run away. She sais I am stupid. Life is better here than Toronto. I just listen. Papa tells her. Calm down. She can only drink. It goes on. She asks me. Is Mark your customer. He buys sex? I tell her no. No way. He is not this way. We meet at the gym. She sais its a story. She sais he only likes me. 1 reason. He is older. I'm younger. He wants me just for sex. I don't listen. She sais I am always stupid. Papa tells her to stop. It's not helping. Then she makes this mistake. She asks. He is now your pimp. Let's another fuck me? I am angry. I blow up. I get up from the table. I attack her. I tell her fuck you bitch. You don't say this. You tell me my bf is this way. I hit her. I hit her in the face and all over. Papa must come. Pull me away. I scream at her. I tell her fuck you. I spit at her. I tell her she is a whore. NOT ME. I am NEVER a whore like her. I have respect. Not her. She is a drunk. She goes away. Papa is upset. He tells me sorry. He asks why do I get mad. I tell him I'm tired. All my life it's just this. I cry. He holds me. He will talk to Mom. I can't see her. I hate her.
I wish to go back to Calgary. I hate this place. I must stay. See Papa and Nana. But I hate my mom. Now i cannot love her ever. I wish her to die. I wonder why. Why can Papa lvoe her? He is stupid. He is a good man.
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