Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's New

Do you know love?  I don't know it.  If you read a book. It says love is good.  Love is beautiful.  It don't say another.  Love is hard.  It's no control.  I can't control it.  I always control things. Now I can't.  For me I am 14.  It's a first.  If you are new to love it's tough.  You have questions.  You are afraid.  One minute you smile.  Next you worry.  I have something to lose.  And now is jealousy.  Before I care not for much.  He can chat to girls.  He can surf on the computer.  He can go out with a girl.  I don't care.  Now I care.

If you take a girl.  Afraid of love.  And filled with rage.  It's a mix.  A bad mix.  We have a fight.  Then another.  I ask him who he talks to.  He comes home later.  Where are you?  To solve it, he gets me a new phone.  It's got msn.  it's got email.  it's got all this.  Still I think.  This is just a good lie.  I know men.  They do whatever.  If they want pussy it's anything.  It's how they are.  I think its' the case too.  Mark works alot.  Is he?  How can I know.  He has another.  I know it.

He comes home.  It's late.  His job is so many hours.  I don't believe it.  We fight.  It's yelling at him.  He shows me.  Look, it's his hours paid.  I don't believe it.  He makes this on the computer I say.  He puts up his hand.  What can he say?  What can he do?   I don't like it.  I don't like this feeling.  I don't kknow this but I know now.  I push him away.

You are a whore? Do you know love?  It's scary.  You can't control it.  You dont' feel it.  It's a terrible feeling.  But it's a beautiful feeling.  You can change this feeling in 1 minute.  To do this and a woman with anger.  It's a bad mix.  A bad bad mix.  

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