Trying to forget

This gay guy that is a client is now a friend.  We send email all the time.  I even tell Unhappily Married about him.  This gay guy is cool.  I meet his friends.  It's a distraction from life.  I go out more and I drink more now.  It's 5 nights a week.  I can see Georgia but she is with her kids.  If you are a mom you can't go out.  It's your job to be home. 

These gays are fun.  We have a good time.  We can dance at this club and there are girls there.  It makes me forget this shitty life I have.  I think always about Papa.  He won't get a job.  I think about less money.  I think what happens in this world?  It seems slowly the good is gone.  I don't know so much but I can read the paper.  So far it's not so bad in Alberta.  But it seems everywhere.  Well you can't stop a rash from your arm if you have it on your leg.  

Now I drink too much.  The liquor store knows my face.  I start to think about what I can do but I can't do anything.  Less clients.  Less money.  I get more regs that must go.  They don't work now.  They must pay for their family.  What can I say.   Fucking the whore is not on the top of the list is it.  If you don't make this payment, you can't buy a whore.  I decide I must cut my price too.  It's 2 browns now.  FS for 2 browns.  Before it's a BJ for this.  I am reading on the review board.  Price is lower everywhere. 

If you are a whore it's like any business.  A man needs money to buy you.  It's a treat for a man.  When he has no job, you're the first to go.  This is the reality of this job.  It's not like a hair cut.  You can't say no way.  Unhappily Married says he is worried.  He says his company sends people home.  No more jobs.  He said things are slowing down.  It's not the same now.  2 years ago money is on the trees like leaves.  Now it's autumn and the leaves fall off.  But they aren't money.  Just dead. 

I start to think.  I will leave this apartment.  I will get a cheaper place.  But this is not good.  I charge good money.  So I must have a good place.  If you pay a good rate you expect a good deal.  That's how it is.  I know it.