Saturday, September 4, 2010

Running

I run so fast. In the hall.  I get the elevator. I press this button 100 times.  I go down.  I find the bathroom and I am sick.  I am crying.  I am sick in my heart.  I go to the desk.  I say I need a taxi now.   She is working.  she doesn't care.  I SCREAM get it.  FUCK YOU and your job.  FUCK YOU.  I throw the papers. 

The taxi comes.  I tell the guy where.  I say fuck you.  Go.  He taxes me home. I have a red in my purse.  I just toss it.   I don't care.  Fuck this money back.  I go upstairs.  I must shower.  I shower long.  I cannot scrub it away.  No matter how hard.  I wash.  I wash more.  It won't go away.  

I leave this.  I dry me.  I will drink.  How can a man do it.  I don't hurt them.  I am dirty.  I can only dream of the plastic on my mouth.  The screams you can't hear.  No one listens.  No one can hear me.  I get home.  I am so angry.  I take this chair.  I smash this window with it.  I don't care.   These men.  They don't care for me.  I am angry.  I wish to kill them.  I will cut them with a knife.  Watch them bleed.  Watch them die.  I will take some gas.  Just like for the car.  Pour it.  Then light a match.  They will scream.  You like it.  I do.  I can watch their skin.  It will bubble.  I laugh.  You hurt me. I will burn you.  Make your skin bubble.   I think I get an axe.  It's in their head.  The blood will drip.  I hit it many times.  I don't care.  FUCK YOU.   I think what will Papa say.  I wish to call him.  I can't.  If I do he will know.  I can't tell him.  I can't tell my Papa.  I love him.  I love my Papa.  His daughter is a whore.  He doesn't want it.  If I tell him he won't sleep.  He has no job.  His struggles are tough.  This night I smash all I can find.  FUCK YOU.   I can kill these guys.  I am there.  I think I can get a gun.  I will go back.  Find it.  I will take this knife and I will cut their cocks off.  I will eat it.  While they bleed.  I laugh .  HA HA.  Then I will kill them.  The gun is mine.  I don't kill them good. I kill them by shooting their cocks.  I laugh as they die. LAUGH.  

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