I am there a bit now. Nana sais to me good work. She tells me we can have dinner. I think ok. She takes me out. I can't read it. She orders. She asks me. Do I like this job. I tell her yes. She tells me I work hard. Extra. I am on time. She sais the others like me. She has a question. She can train me. For a real job. An important job. I can pick. But I must stay 2 years at least. I will get the same room. A small pay check. But she will help me. She has some ideas. She gives me papers. Sais to me think about it. Take my time. I see the one. It's to cook. Then to be a chef. It will take a long time.
I think about it. I mail Marky and Papa. It's my choices. Mark sais do what I want. I take some days and then I tell Nana I am ready. I will be a chef. . I tell Mark. He is on the phone. He laughs. He laughs hard. He sais do I remember. I make the smoke beeper go off? He must open the door. And with a cardboard make a big fan. I try to cook him breakfast. I tell him you wait and see lol. I am on Food TV. I laugh. He sais to me. The show is called the food whore lol. He tells me you see. You can do it. I tell him. Bad news. I can't come back. Not now or ever. He knows it. He said life is tough. But am I happy? I tell him yes. He sais that's all then.
Nana takes me out. We have some drinks. I tell her I can be a chef. She smiles. She sais you can eat so much. It's a good job. Since I am little. I eat. It makes me feel better. If I am sad or angry I eat. I don't get fat though. Mark sais it's a fast metabsolsm. He said I'm lucky. Or I am 300 pounds. My tummy is almost flat. I remember. We are in Edmonton. He buys me cupcakes. It's 12 of them. I eat them all that day. I feel sick but I don't stop.
Nana is happy. She tells me I will train. Work with this man. I will like him. Nana and I talk. I tell her about my life. I tell her how I get so angry. I want to kill someone. She knows. She sais its my Mom. She neglects me. She sais how I am ain't my fault. It's Moms. I wish to find someone. Someone that pays attention. A whore gets attention. It's how I get attention. It's what she thinks. I don't have no man in my life. She sais. At easter she sees me. I'm different inside. I am happy. We talk. It's about my life. She tells me her life wasn't good. She did some things. She won't say. she tells me. Don't say it ever to her husband. Sometimes a woman must do things. I know. She won't say it. But maybe she is a whore too. She tells me I'm a smart girl. I've lived a tough life. She sais I kicked and screamed at it. I fought and I won. She will also get me to learn Greek. A tutor. I think oh. This is tough. Maybe I can learn good english first lol.
My sky is blue now.
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