Raped

If you don't like this word raped you should not read this.  It's the reality for me.  I can't make this go away.   It's how it is.

I need money.  I think what if Papa has none.  My mom will drink it.  I don't know what happens to Papa.  For me, I am low on money.  I make less and less and I am sick of this job.  I think I can make sandwiches.  My life is drinking. 

A man calls. He is nice.  He says he is in town.  For the night.  At this hotel.  It's a good hotel.  I call this driver.  He cannot go.  He is busy.  I call the other.  No deal.  Busy.  I need money.   So I will go.  

I get to the hotel.  This man meets me.  In the lobby.  We take the elevator.  We go to the room.  It's a good room.  I think it's some money.  We enter this room.  The door goes click.  It's like any time.  I come into this room.  He says some things.  I get this envelope. I put it in my purse.  I tell him to lets get busy.  I remove my clothes.  He does too. 

I don't hear much.  Then I have a hand on my face.  It's another man.  He calls me names and he pushes me.  I don't know what happens.   They get me.  They take my hair and then they take this plastic.  They wrap around my face and nose.  It's hard to breath.  I cannot scream.  I try but it's silence.  They laugh at me.  They say I am many things.  No good. . Scum.   They tie hands up.  I cannot fight.  I wish I can kill them.   This man tells me, if i fight I can die.  No one knows me.  No family lives here.  I'm a slut. 

He takes the tv remote.  He puts it inside me.  He laughs.  He says he can change my changes.  He pushes it deep and I feel it.  He will make this hard and fast in me.  I can close my eyes and only dream of the butterflys.   This hurts me.  I am not wet.  No lube.  They don't care.  He is finished with this tv thing.  He holds the iron.  He lets the plug near my face. He sais he can plug it in.  He will burn me.  Hurt me.  My body is burned.  I scream inside.  I cannot breath.  It's plastic. 

They take away the plastic.  One is in me.  It's greek.  I don't do it.  this hurts me.  He is fast and pounding.  The other wishes a BJ.  He grabs my hair.  Sais do it.  It's hard for me.  I can't.  I can just feel this pain.   They hit me.  In the head.  This man has a knife.  It's near my face.  He says I am not wet.  He says he can use my blood as lube.  He says I will like it.  I fight now.  AGNRY  FUCK YOU.   They laugh at me.  They put this knife handle inside me.  They laugh more.  Then one has sex.  He pounds it.  The others takes my lips.  Holds it.  This man comes in my mouth.  The other tells me swallow.  They change.  I must do it again.  They tell me swallow it.  I swallow.  It's their wish.  I cannot fight.  They throw me to the carpet.  Tell me I am a whore.  No value.  they laugh.  I get my dress and go.  I don't put my shoes on.  I get in the hall and I run so fast.