The most important man in my life

Papa comes to my apartment.  I don't have to meet him.  He is upset. He gives me a hug.  He asks am I ok. What can he do.  I tell him my body is ok.  He tells me let's go for a car drive. He has one.  It's a rental car.  He drives.  We go to Banff.  He turns on the Top 40 station.  He tells me he really likes it.  I laugh.  I tell him liar.  You like country  msuic.  He sais to me no no.  He moves his hands.  He turns his ball cap sideways.  He makes a rap.  I laugh.  We go to Banff.  It's like the last time.  He takes me on the cable car.  This time it's no pictures.  I don't want them.  I almost forget my hurt.  We sit on the bench. It's on the river.  Papa tells me he loves me.  And then he holds my hand.  It's like I am a little girl again.  He said I will always love you.  He said I will protect you.  No one can do this to me.  I tell him I am sorry.  I am sorry I am so stupid.  He tells me no.  It's not my fault.   Don't think this way.  He tells me he failed me.  He said he is full of regret.  His entire life he says yes.  He sais he doesn't be a good father.  He should stop my Mom.  I say you can't stop her.  I say this is not your fault Papa. 

We talk.  We talk about me as a little girl.  We talk about me in school.  I tell him my life.  I tell him the MP story. I tell him about crack.  I tell him about all my life.  How I am a fool.  I make so many mistakes.  He holds my hand.  He said it's not my fault.  I am troubled.  He said how can I be at blame?   He said he is to blame.  He sais this over and over.   His phone rings.  It's my Mom.  She wants to know when he will come home.  He gets in a fight.  He sais to her he'll come home when he comes home.  He hangs up and turns off his phone.

We go to Calgary.  As I get close, I feel my breath. It's gone in my chest.  Papa holds my hand.  He sais it will be alright.  He is here.  No one can hurt me ever again.  

When we get home Papa sais we must do get these guys.  He tells me he can do it.  He will protect me.  I cry.  I'm scared.  What if my face is on the news?  He tells me it's not gonna happen.   He said no one can hurt his daughter.  He has a look I don't see before.  It's angry like a hornet.