Sunday, September 12, 2010

Goodbye

We get to the airport.  He parks.  We get my stuff.  He tells me it's enough for 10 years.  He will send the rest.  The rest he can sell.  Helps him pay his bills.  We go.  We must check in.  It's a long flight.  With suitcases gone, we go. Will get a coffee.  I can tell Mark is upset.  His lip trembles.  He bites his lip.  We must go.  I must go through the security place.  He comes. 

I don't imagine this day.  I stand there.  So long I waited.  So long I wanted love.  now I must leave it.  My heart aches.  I can't feel a breath.  He just hugs me.  I cry.  He strokes my hair.  Just sais ssssshhhhh.   He tells me it will be ok.  He sais he's proud of me.  The toughest girl in the world.  He sais now I believe in me.  I know it.  I hold him.  I give him a kiss.  I don't kiss in public.  This time who cares.  It's a long kiss.  I just touch him.  He holds my hands.  I can't let go.  But I must g o.  I wish time can stop.  Right now.  Forever.  I must go.  He tells me he loves me.  Always will.  He is crying now.  I am too.  The people around don't look.  I must go.  His hand is in mine but then it's not.  I must walk in the security. 

I turn.  I wave at him.  I say I love you.  He sais it back.  He stands there.  Watches me in the line.  The lady is security.  She looks.  She gives me a tissue.  She gives me a smile.  Sais he must be special.  I tell her just one word.  Yes.  I can't say more.  I am through.  Now I must wait.  I go to the bathroom.  I wipe my makeup up.  I throw up.  I feel sick.  I try so hard. I can't cry but I want too.  I have no phone.  Can't text him.  Only a laptop.  I will email hiim.  

I get on the plane.  I have the window.  Marky got it for me.  The plane goes fast and is in the air.  I look out.  I can see Calgary.  The mountains.  Downtown.  I wonder. Where is Mark.  On the road. I try to see his car.  I can't.  Tears go on my face.  We go higher.  And soon there is no more Calgary.  

I sit. I think.  It's all I can do.  I have my iPod.  I play songs.  These don't help.  Makes me cry more.  I listen to our song.  It's 2 is better than 1.   A man sings, then a girl sings it.  It's two people in love.  For them nothing else matters.   It's our song.  It's always our song.  I can hear it 100 years from now.  And I think of him.  

You can see this song here.  It's our song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E231TF4CzU0  I listen to it over and over.  I can only cry.  I won't sleep.  Just look out the window. 

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