I am reading a book. Mark is on the computer. He just relaxes. I wonder to who? It's a girl? I put down the book. I think who is it? I read more. But I see no words. I just think. I can hear this keyboard. I can hear his music. I get up. Quiet. I walk out. His monitor is big. On it I see it. It's a PM. It's the review board. I explode. I think he chats to a whore.
I don't think. I only scream. I smash this lamp. I don't remember so much. Only I go at him. My arms are everywhere. He shouts. Calm down. I don't care. I can see it. This is not real. I swing. I hit him. Then I hit so hard. I break his tooth in his face. He just stops. He holds his jaw. It's blood on his face. He sais not words now. In the bathroom he fixes it. It's some time. He face is sore. His tooth is missing. I break it right off. The blood stops. He comes out. He looks at me. No words. He leaves. The door slams hard. I sit on the couch. I cry.
A long time passes. I send a message. no answer. phone won't answer. Just voice mail. I worry. He is hurt?. He comes back finally. I can't speak. My head looks down. He sais nothing. Then sais a word. Why. His eyes are angry. I tell him. I know that board. He is using whores. He is qiuet. He tells me come here. He shows me this emails. All. He is talking about me. It's all good about me. Nothing bad. No dates. No sessions. He doesn't know a whore so well. I read this. He tells me. Read it all. Each letter and everything. I read it. I realize I am a fool. It's nothing.
I tell him I am sorry. I make a mistake. To please forgive me. He is quiet. For a long time no words. Then he comes to me. He tells me 2 choices. I can get some help. He will help me. Or I can go back to Georgias. Not ever see him again. I cry. So hard blood is in my eye. I said the help. I want it. He hugs me but it's far away hug. Distant. This night he will sleep next to me. But no arm. No kiss even. Every day it's a kiss at night. Not today.
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