Friday, September 10, 2010

Mark

I don't say about Mark yet.  Who is he?  What can I say?  He is patient with me.  We have a fight.  He sais always ok enough.  Then he will just go out.  After I tell him I am a whore.  It's tough.  He struggles.  Can't listen to some  things.  It changes though.  He don't like I call me a whore.  He is smart but stupid.  You can tell what's in his heart.   He doesn't judge me.  This I like so much.  He works a lot.  It's by himself.  It's not good.  His donation isn't right away.  It's in 3 months.  So much work, not so much money.   I think who does this?  He sais to me it's how it work.  Some never pay.  If a whore did this?  No one would pay.  I laugh.  Yes you can pay 3 months later.  It's like the furniture store lol. 

I learn.  Mark is broken too.  His family don't like he moved away.  So they don't see him.  But they wish he can go see them.  I know he is angry.  I love my Papa.  His Papa don't call him.  Not even once I can think of.  Most important are his friends.  It's all hes got.   Sometimes he sais to me.  Let's just go.  He works in the day.  He works at night.  He has a phone.  It beeps all the time.  It's like when I was a whore.  He looks at it all the time.  I think.  I remember this.  Only no telephone calls.  Just email.  Sometimes we are eating.  He must go right away.  He will take me sometimes.  at night it won't beep.  Just the phone rings.  It rings at night too.  He must wake up.  Go out. 

He don't understand a whore.  He thinks it's like tv.  I tell him some like it.  He sais really?  He won't believe me.  He admits, how can he know?  Time goes by.  He listens and believes.  He can't believe it.  He dates a former whore.  For him it's tough.  We go out.  Meet someone.  They will ask who I am.  They talk.  They ask what do I do.  What can I say?  If I say I am a former whore.  His business is gone.  Like me, now he is alone.  Can't tell anyone.  Only once I see a reg.  It's Unhappily Married.  We are together.  He sees me. I just hold Marks hand.  Unhappy looks ahead.  Marky and I talk.  We spend lots of time.  He asks how I got this job.  Why I got it.  Life in this job.  He is curious.  He won't judge me after a while.  For me, he is a sugar daddy.  He will pay everything.  But, he is not a sugar daddy.  I love him.  I learn how he is.  What I can do.  He is a tender person.  But he is tired.  To go away from life.  He gets headphones.  It's music for him.  He knows all the songs.  If he goes in public.  He can act good.  Talks well to people.  Around many he's good.  But prefers alone.  He will go to the coffee place.  It's the Purple Perk.  He will sit.  Reads and drinks coffee.  Or watches the world go past.  He likes little doggies.  I learn him.  He is a quiet person.  I think inside he hurts.  Just doesn't say it so much. 

One time I am out.  I see this thing.  It sais Love is 2 hearts and 1 soul.  I take a picture.  I have no money.  I ask Mark.  I can have change?  He texted back.  Of course.  I print this off for him.  Leave on the table.  He gets up early.  He comes to see me. He is crying.  He said a little thing is a big thing sometimes.  Bigger than I can now it.

I know you read it Marky.  You tell me to write this.  To share my life.  You say my bad writing won't matter. I can't be silent.  Words are power.  I am sorry some secrets come out.  I am sorry I eat all your food too lol.  I know you make tough choices.  I don't say thank you sometimes.  But in my head I say it.  No matter how far away.  No matter what.  You are my best friend.  You don't give up.  I don't give up on you.  You used to sing.  It's the song 2 is better than 1.   I hear this song 100 years from now.  I think about you.  Marky.  I love you.  I know it.  2 is better than 1.   

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