The real whore

I spend each night.  I talk to Marky.  It's on the computer.  I close the door.  I can spend all night.  I don't care around me.  I eat dinner.  Close the door.  It's Marky.  I tell him I can go back soon.

It's Saturday.  My mom will go out.  She tells me it's with gf's.  I see her.  She is a whore. Her skirt is short.  It's like no skirt I wear.  I can tell.  She goes with friends.  She might come back.  I think how can this be.  Papa takes care of her.  Loves her.  My teeth are tight.   I am angry and sick.  Fuck this bitch.  I ask Papa.  Do you know where she goes?  He tells me.  Country bar.   I have some drinks.  I get angry.  I tell Papa I will see my friend.  I don't.  I go to this country bar.  I take a taxi.  

I get there.  It's like bad Calgary.  Hats all over.   I don't like it.  I pay to go in.  I walk in.  Just then a man says hello.  I tell him nothing. I walk.  it's all wood.  Men and women dance.  They want sex.  I sit.  I can see Mom.  She dances. This man is younger.  She is drinking.  She goes to the table.  I watch her.  She laughs.  It's young men.  Young women.  And my Mom.   I think this.  Papa works every day.  His hands are big.  He is tired. He pays the bills.  She comes here. I watch her.  She kisses this young guy.  He is too young for me.  I am 28.  But she kisses him.  This is how she treats Papa?   She calls down my boyfriend?  I realize now.  I am not a whore.  She is Queen Whore.  I ask for a drink.  Then another.  I am angry.  I can see her.  She can't see me.  Too drunk. 

I finish drinks.  I am angry.  A man comes. Asks me for a drink. I tell him fuck you buddy.  Get lost.  I go.  I walk to this bench.  It's a table.  I walk up.  I look at my Mom.  She is drunk.  She laughs.  She tells people.  This is Larissa.  It's my daughter.  I say fuck you.  No.  You aren't my Mom.  I don't have a Mom.  I have a drunk.  I tell them all.  Mom.  Do you know Papa?  He pays your food.  House.  Cares for you.  She gets angry. Tells me to mind my business.   I tell her FUCK YOU.   28 years.  I run away. NOW. NO.  I won't.  I grab her hair.  I scream.  Fuck YOU bitch.  I hit her.   I tell her afraid to be Greek.  Afraid of black hair.  I smash my fists.  The drinks go all over.  I take her.  Out of the table.  I hit her face.  She hits back.  I tell her I am not a whore. SHE is the whore.  Young men.  I hit her face.  She falls down.  I smash her then.  I pull her hair. Get up bitch.  Men come.  They pull me away.  I hit them.  Bite them.  Tell them fuck you.  Stop protecting the real whore.  I am not a whore.  SHE is a whore.  I am throw out.  But I won't go.  I go back.  I run at them.  They hold me.  Tell me.  Go home.  I take a taxi home.  I can just cry. 

I get home.  I go on the computer.  Marky is online.  I tell him.  I want home.  Now.  RIGHT NOW.  He asks am I ok.  I say no. Now.  He sais ok.  In 20 minutes it's a ticket.  For the plane.  I call Papa.  I tell him.  I am going back.  Tomorrow.  I need a ride.  If not a taxi.  Marky says it's ok.  Calm he says.  I can't be. 

My mom don't come home that night.  Papa drives me to the plane.  I go home.  I tell him.  I love you.  I tell him there is more than  this in life.  I tell him I am a whore.  11 years.  Now I am happy.  Nana comes.  She hugs me.  Says you call me.  It's in Greece.  I cry.  She sais good for you.