When you have a boyfriend life sure seems better. You have something to look forward too. At this time in my life I don't have much. As an SP you have a hard time having friends. You can't tell your friends. You must always hide this life. You live in paranoid state. Does this person know . You fear seeing a client in the street. You fear he will make a big issue. Because of this, you don't get good friends just other SP's. Regular people have to be kept away. Not too close. If you live this way it's so lonely. You feel isolated. My family did not speak to me. My mom lived only 100 kms away but I didn't go see her. To me she wasn't my Mom. Just a drunk
So now I have a boyfriend. When you are lonely this person becomes a bright sun in your world. Mr Big would still come to see me and pay for it. I thought it was weird he would do this. Why pay when he got it free. But lol, hey I got the money. SP's love money ;-) Mr Big would come for sessions. I think he liked that rush. He was my boyfriend so I allowed him full sex bareback. I used to wonder how he could date someone with 4 sex partners a day. He never seemed jealous either. I thought this was a great thing. I could keep making money and he didn't care. He kept me going so the job got easier and I could work more. Working more meant more money which I could spend. Retail therapy is common if you are an SP.
So now I have this boyfriend. I am learning about him. His father is very wealthy and he works for his dad. I tell you, he didn't work very much. I should have seen this as a sign but I didn't. I could only see the gravy train ahead. Not only did I like this man but he would take care of me. No one had ever did this. I was like his sugar babe.
I know some of you read this and feel disgust for me. Some men will say what a gold digger. Some women will say I should get a real job. Well that's not so easy is it? Here is what I say to you. Most women will be a prostitute in their life. You can look down on me. But you are the same too. You can't admit it. How many are in a bad marriage but just stay? How many dislike their husband but give him sex to shut him up? Its the duty. How many women marry older men because they have money. Lots do. So that is a prostitute too. Just the payment is different. It's not cash. It's security. And those men that spit at me? Well you want to seduce me with your money. You show me the wealth. You show me the nice car. You brag about it. You get me what I want and I give you sex. You like this agreement until you don't have the power anymore. Then I become a whore to you. I was all along. Just I had the power. You see if you are a pretty girl you can get anything. You just smile. Men are like dumb dogs around a pretty girl. They do just what she wants. It's because they want sex. You say I am the dumb whore but really you are dumb too. You should think about this.
So now I have a boyfriend and you know what? I am falling for him. I think I am falling in love and I don't know what this is. Sure I had a crush on boys when I was 14 but never love. Now love it makes your head like a melon. Inside a melon is mush. And that is what happened to me.
Love your blog, I feel like I am listening to a friend speak and I haven't had one bad thought about you. I can relate to you so much, it feels like something I would be writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your blog
I can relate, a ladies gotta do what a ladies gotta do. I'm glad I found your blog.
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