Time has passed. I have slowed down working as I spend time with my boyfriend. He takes care of me. I have noticed he drinks a lot and he is reckless at times. He sais to me I am blowing off steam. He said work is stressing. I don't think to myself that really he doesn't work so much. One thing I notice about him is that he won't let me meet his family. They are all too busy. He will go to family dinner but I am not invited. He said he keeps his personal life private. Now I can understand this because I do too. I should see this as a sign but I don't. You see, if you love someone you only see the good stuff.
This guy and I, we fight. He makes it up to me by buying me things. That's his way to say he is sorry. I always accept and I forget. Then this happens again. This guy does things like gets me flowers. No one has did this before. He holds my hand. He whispers he loves me. I cannot say it back but I feel it I think. Really I don't know because I don't know this word. How can I?
One day, he says to me he wants two girls. He said that I have men all the time so he wants to get 2 girls. It's his fantasy. I say to him, we can hire one. I said it's only if we hire an SP. He agrees. I said you can pick one. He angers me because he picks one I work with at the MP. She is a spinner. What is a spinner? It's a very petite small girl. It's bad because I really don't like this bitch so much. She comes to his place and we all have sex together. I don't feel good about this. He asks her to have bareback and tells her we do so she's safe and he is safe, why not. This girl isn't stupid. She is wise to the world and tells him not a chance buddy. He wants me have sex with me without a condom. It's normal for us but I say no way. When you hire two SP's you condom swap. The man has no risk but each womans fluids interchange. This is a risk though its a low risk. I don't swap fluid at all with a client. No fucking way. It's a fast way to being sick. He's not so happy about this. Still I don't like it. I'm glad when it's over. It's a long time since I felt cheap. Maybe this is stupid sounding to you but for me there is two kinds of sex. One is love sex. The other is work sex. One is close. The other is my job. It's two different things. But how can I argue? After all, Mr Big did hire an SP. So I cannot expect to have 4 men each day and him have nothing. He can say that she is just a good release. How can I argue? But you know, I don't like it. Maybe it's stupid to expect this but I hoped he would only want me.
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